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Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Hollywood Dismorphic Disorder-ly Conduct

We all look in the mirror and see things that we would like to change. Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of elective surgery for those who really feel they would be happier having larger breasts, a smaller nose, or pinned back ears...I say go for it. Not everyone has the guts to go under the knife, recover and face the world with a new....face. Some choose not to under-go surgery for financial reasons and others because loved ones might have convinced them not to.


Some people have plastic surgery for medical reasons; a deviated septum, an accident that caused facial injuries and others that I am sure are necessary for quality of life.
These types of situations are logical and reasonable.

Having said that-

What the %$#* is going on in Hollywood??
I'm a big fan of The Hills. Big.
The drama, the catty girls, the gossip and the fashion keeps me coming back for more.
But, Heidi Montag-Pratt, What is wrong with you?? You look horrible. HORRIBLE.

No one in their right mind thinks you look good. Not even Spencer. He even knows how awful you look, that's why he is a crazy man who cries and wears crystals. No matter how hard he prays to the crystals, your old face will not come back. It's done.
Are you happy??
No?
So weird- 'cause you'd think after all the work you had done, you'd look in the mirror and be satisfied looking like Joan Rivers 20 years ago BEFORE her surgeries.

Hollywood is a dangerous place for the self-esteem challenged and competitive blond bombshell hoping to land her starring role. Heidi has officially turned herself into a generic, bleach-blonde Hollywood bimbo.
Thanks to plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, the Dr. that did her first round of surgeries, did some more.





Heidi spent 10 hours under his knife, here are the list of surgeries:

Nose job revision- (Revision? Umm. Do you think Dr. Ryan could've done it right the first time?)
Chin reduction- (whaa?)
Mini brow lift- (say whaaa?)
Botox in forehead- (you serious? Your 23.)
Botox in frown area-(really??)
Fat injection in cheeks-(from her butt)
Fat injection in nasolabial folds-(is that a fatter vagina?)
Fat injections in lips-(is that a fatter vagina??)
Neck liposuction-(what the F? I didn't realise I should be working out my neck.)
Ears pinned back-(fine.)
Liposuction on waist-(getting angry.)
Liposuction on inner and outer thighs-(getting frustrated.)
Liposuction on hips-(now annoyed.)
Buttock augmentation-(involves cutting your lower back open, near the tail bone, cutting muscle away to make a pocket for the implant.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?)
Second breast augmentation. (a second one... well, of course..we all know that F size breasts are much more beautiful than DDD's.)

I know she is sick. Did I mention she is 23years old??
It is obvious that anyone who undergoes that many surgeries has serious psychological issues and suffers from body dysmorphia. She was such a pretty girl before and now..NOW she paid big bucks to look like someone wearing a bad Barbie mask- and not, might I add, the rubber one that you pull over your head and sweat in. I'm talking the paper one with the elastic that broke 4 minutes after you put it on. I'm talking about the crappy mask your parents bought at the pharmacy an hour before trick or treating.

Do you know how much her surgeries cost??? Are you ready for this number?
Upwards of $30,000.
Do you know how many mosquito nets $30,000 could buy for Malaria stricken countries like Haiti????
I checked of course...at $18, Heidi could've taken the same money and bought 1666 mosquito nets.
Or
Disease Prevention kits?? You guessed it- at $22 a pop, Heidi could've bought over 1363 kits.
Or
Private school for my daughter is going to cost about $8000 + Summer camp at another $7000. Heidi, you could have at least thought about my needs. Bitch.

Someone has to fly to L.A. and let Arnold know what is going on in Hollywood, I don't think he knows.
Screw the oil leak, and the war in the Middle East. Who cares about the tornados, earthquakes, and tsunamis destroying our planet.
Someone needs to address the REAL issues.

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